So a friend recently had her boyfriend give her a mix tape-ok it was a cd but for all the old timers like myself, we'll call it a mix tape.
She tells us about it while we're all out at lunch. She says she didn't want to tell us about it but I've decided she knew it was just so awful that she had to tell someone. She says something to the effect of "some of the songs I need him to explain". So we take her to her car as she must immediately produce said CD and provide it to us for inspection.
The third amigo and I go to her desk and immediately pop in the CD. Some of the songs were so unexplainable or inappropriate that we actually categorized them. The categories are:
Scary!, Not on a mix tape, Good for a mix tape
Under the scary! column:
*Used to Love Her--Guns N Roses (the next line is but I had to kill her!!!)--Umm no, never appropriate for a mix cd for the girl that you love...........EVER
*Eyes Without a Face--Billy Idol-Ummm, see above
*My Humps-Black Eyed Peas--When they say whatchu gonna do with all that junk inside your trunk, they're talking about how big her behind is. That does NOT endear you to most women to comment on how large their rear is.
*When I See You Cry-Lilly Allen--The song title sounds sweet enough. However, similar to above, the next line is it makes me smile. IT.MAKES.ME.SMILE.WHEN.I.SEE.YOU.CRY........mmkay
Not on a mix tape:
*In Da Club-50 cent--I honestly don't even know what to say about that one
*Beautiful Disaster--I'm sure you think it's sweet to call your girl beautiful. But when it's followed my disaster, it sort of negates the beautiful part.
*California Dreaming-Mammas and the Pappas--reference In Da Club response above. The friend is not from California, neither is the guy, they don't talk about California, there is no California reference here at all.
*Round Here-Counting Crows--I got nothin'.
*Rocket Man-Elton John--Neither of them are astronauts so I don't get this one either. She's not a ginormous Elton John fan so......
*Bennie and the Jets-Elton John--wow, just wow
*Blurry-Puddle of Mudd--I'm a huge Puddle of Mudd fan. Some of their songs I can totally see being on a mix tape-Control for example, but yeah, not this one
*Somewhere With You-Kenny Chesney--Again, the lyrics, you MUST listen to the lyrics before you put songs on your mix tape people. He's talking about being with other people but thinking of you-why do you want some guy who's banging others to be thinking about you, just icky gross.
And last but not least, the appropriate ones for a mix tape:
*Everything I do-Bryan Adams
*Right Where I Need to Be-Gary Allen
*Love Walks In-Van Halen
Now I believe that a mix tape should contain an appropriate ratio of songs and here's how you choose them:
Love songs from you to him/her-20%
Mattress dancin' songs-30%
Songs the two of you enjoy together-30%
THAT is how you make a mix tape ladies and gents. Biggest rule? Do not put scary songs on your mix tape. Also know that if you make your girl a mix tape...........she will share it with her friends.