Saturday, May 26, 2012
Its Mothers Day....an idyllic time according to TV commercials where the kids bring breakfast in bed and the hubby takes care of dinner. The house is clean and mom is free to pick up 50 Shades of Grey. Because I'm a lucky gal-mine started Saturday. A day of shopping & mani/peri with my sister while hubby kept the kids. Saturday evening about 6 pm the fun begins! The youngest begins the barfing. This means he has steep. I'm not sure why but everytime he gets strep throat he barfs. So we spend all night and morning back and forth between bee and bathroom. I do online check in at the doc in the box who confirms its strep and gives us a rx. As I'm waiting at the pharmacy I start to realize I'm feeling like crap now too. Great! A gift that keeps on giving. While the hubby is spending time with his mother~i take care of the kiddo who is basically comatose on the couch. We doze off and on for a bit and then I have an idea! While out with my sis on Saturday she tells me she has started waxing her vàjayjay. She loves it and how the maintenance is so low. She tells me of this wax that doesn't even require muslin strips. I am in! We get the supplies and my plan is to wax my legs. Its summer and less shaving sounds fantastic! So after I wake from one of the mini naps and while the kid is still sleeping I think lets wax! I microwave the wax and head to the bathroom. I apply the wax to a few patches on my legs and let it harden. Hold the skin and pull the wax off? Check. This is a breeze! And then I had another idea! Since this is so easy I should try the bikini area. Same concept just different locale right? Oh my fucking God no. Lets talk about what could go wrong. First? I have never been waxed in that area either professionally or otherwise. Therefore I don't have a proper comparison to make here. So I apply the wax to the bikini area about 6 inches long. Wait for the wax to cool......hold skin taught.....pull in the opposite direction the hair grows....HOLYMOTHEROFALLTHAYISHOLYWHATTHEFUCKJUSTHAPPENED Tears have filled my eyes andi wipe them away to realize that only half the wax is removed. The other remains stubbornly attached to my skin. There is no way in a whit storm that I'm gonna be able to pull the rest off. I mean honestly it felt like a million paper cuts all at once, except on your vagina. I then have a decision to make. Do I finish the self torture? Do I just leave the wax? Ohhhh! I will cut that crape out. I find fingernails scissors and spend 10 minutes cutting wax out of my vajayjay hair. The lesson here is to leave the waxing to the professionals. And that kids give shitty gifts, like strep. I am now growing out the hair on my junk sp that I can go to a professional to have it waxed off. Blog post to follow on that one as well.