Saturday, June 5, 2010

It's like riding a bicycle

My boys are older now and know me...truly know me. I didn't say they like or approve of me. Just that they know me. I will always checkin with them prior to my alcoholic escapades to see if they need a ride somewhere or I need to be "on call" for picking them up. The know however you snooze you lose! Once they hear that blender or that cork pop on the wine bottle they give me my space. They don't bother me and I don't bother them. Seriously I'm not allowed to go upstairs and talk to them cuz apparently they find me extremely annoying at a certain level of intoxication. Whatever! So tonight I'm gettin my drink older boys aren't home and my smart one...the golden chosen one....wait can't call him smart one anymore cuz he let some dumb bitch at school pierce on of his ears....okay so the chosen step child has a fried over and as adorable as this little boy is at 13 freakin years old he's high maintenance. Apparently got somethin in his eye and has been....Ma'am this and Ma'am that....all freakin night the point I'm bout ready to tell him honey if you need a Mamma you need to go home! But I don't.....the Mamma mode kicked right in naturally and I've been wetting cool and warm cloths for this little boy and eye wash and assuring him he's gonna be fine. Ugh! Dang I lost my buzz! but he's sound asleep now.....:)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I have a dude brain

Sooo, I'm the girl that gets along really well with guys. Even the ones I don't want to bang. For the most part, I understand them. They're quite easy to figure out: beer, food, sex in various orders and throw in the occasional sporting event and your man is happy. I absolutely love the simplicity. No emotional reactions, no PMS, no nothing.

I now realize however that I may be a tranny or something. I'm having periodic girly moments and I'm beginning to get a little freaked out. I'm looking for the hubster to occasionally say something other than, "ya wanna do it?". I'm wanting him to handle things, and I do mean handle them. Not in a mamsy pamsy way, but to really turn me out.

I realize Texas girls are tough. Always have been, always will be. I was raised in the country by a totally Jerry Springer family. That may also explain some of the lack of "feelings" I have.

So last week , my friend at work (a dude-we will call him sweet tea) says I have the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old boy. At first I was all offended and planned ways to put his car on blocks..,,,and then I realized he's right.

I never know the right things to say. Emotional people make me extremely nervous and I just want to run away. I laugh at inappropriate times, mostly from nervousness. I really do care about the people in my life, but I'm terrible at showing and saying it. I'm shitty at giving compliments and even shittier at taking them.

Sweet tea asked if I had any sweet, nice, friends that I could set him up with. I cracked up and said I did not, I don't know any nice people and certainly aren't friends with them, even if I do know them.

So for my friends? I love that we make fun of people we don't like. I love that we have races to say "that's what she said". I love that we will hate whoever the other friend hates, just because they do. I love that you will helpe plot revenge (and vice versa). I love that if I'm gonna get my ass kicked because of my big mouth that you'll step in. So what I'm trying to say in a completely retarded way, I love you guys !

I would totally help you bury a body, just sayin'. No questions asked until after we are done.

your friend with the emotional intelligence of a 12 year old boy